seiriald | ✿ Ninth Bud [strange scribbles/voice]

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✿ Ninth Bud [strange scribbles/voice]

[With a frustrated sigh, Kaori abandons the poor attempt at communication by scratching the surface of the pen across the whole page, eventually ripping it out. It was stupid to think that just because she was able to write perfectly fine a week ago, she would be able to for a while now that she was back to normal. Things didn't work that way.

So much for trying to be anonymous about this and avoiding talking to people more than she has to, but she still wanted answers to her question anyway. Pausing for a deep breath, she dives right in.]

Is anyone out there lucky enough to have their brother or sister here?

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I am, too... [Though Mithos' selfish thoughts right now would bother her some, she wouldn't blame him one bit for them. They needed each other, after all, and they were the only ones who understood that.]

I'm sorry I was gone...!

It isn't your fault... You didn't choose to be taken away. [The Malnosso can be blamed for that. The awful timing of it all, too (so much had happened...). He just...keeps holding on.]

[Kaori also continues to hold on in silence, trying not to cry. What else could she say, there wasn't anything that could make up for her not being there for him when he really needed it.]

[Several more moments pass, then Mithos places his hands on her shoulders and pulls back slightly to look at her.]

...How are you? [softly, like they both might break otherwise. He's sure that after being held by the Malnosso for so long, and then reliving childhood (so carefree, so unacquainted with pain), she must be drained.]

[Her expression becomes visibly tired simply thinking about what has happened to her the past few months. While being able to experience that innocent state of mind that was her early childhood was relieving, a welcome break from the fear and hatred she often held, the sudden crash of waking up from that was beyond what words could communicate.

She brings up a hand to rub at her eyes, an old habit that still remains even though she's been blind so long.] I... I'm tired, Mithos... I'm really tired...

.....Yeah. I am too. [Tired of the perpetual aching, tired of everything constantly shifting beneath him.

...Ah, they’re still in the hallway. They should go in, shouldn’t they? Weakness is to be guarded behind walls. He’ll try to nudge her through the doorway, still holding gently onto her shoulders.]

[Kaori will allow herself to be nudged in, trusting Mithos to help her avoid any obstacles that would otherwise make things harder for her. It was strange, having someone in here after so long; it had been obvious when she returned that nobody had lived here in quite a while.]

... Stay with me? For a while? [Even if she has nothing to offer him other than her presence, she knew she needed to have Mithos around right now.]

[He glances behind to make sure the door has closed properly, then turns back to look at her. The answer forms immediately.] Of course.

[It doesn't matter how long 'a while' is. Where else does he have to be? What else does he have?]

[A small manages to form on her face, her eyes tearing up just a little. Even though he was under so much pain, and could very well be here out of pure selfishness, he was still here for her.] Thank you, Mithos...

Do... you need anything? Something? [Normalcy, she needed some sense of it or feel like she's actually doing something for him.]

[It's half selfishness, half knowing she must need someone too. But maybe the selfishness is winning out, just a little. He isn't good at holding himself together.]

No, this is enough. [He'll attempt a tiny smile in return.]

Okay... [She feels around for a place to sit down until she finds one of the soft benches of the waiting room, deciding to rest there. There wasn't much point in putting in so much effort to hide her blindness while in her own apartment, and with someone she trusts.]

Can you tell me how long I was gone, Mithos...?

[He takes a seat next to her. How long...? Cut off from the village, he hadn't learned of her absence until long after the fact -- which he's still a little angry about.] Including the time you spent as a child...four months.

Four – ?! [Her eyes widen and she begins to shake, overwhelmed by this piece of truth. How could she have been gone for so long and not realized it, it had been nearly half a year according to the calendar here. What had happened in all that time, who had arrived and who... has left?

That wasn't what mattered most, though. Mithos had been alone all that time, hadn't he?]

... I'm sorry! [How could she have allowed that to happen? It was a terrible thing that she had done.] I'm sorry, Mithos, I'm so sorry!

[He stares at her, taken aback. Although...if their situations were reversed, he would certainly regret being gone that long.] It...isn't your fault, Kaori. You didn't do anything wrong.

But I was still...! [She had made a vow to not leave him alone, as long as she was able and beyond that; she didn't want Mithos to suffer any more than he already had.]

I left you all alone...! [Crying... she was actually crying right now, in addition to the trembling throughout her. It wasn't much, but those were definitely tears.]

[...She's crying. He doesn't like it. Scooting closer, he carefully places a comforting hand on her shoulder.]

I had Martel-- [Except for all those days he had sat all alone in his underground cell, hoping she could visit. Then he hadn't been free for long at all when she told him everything he never wanted to hear, and not long afterward...she vanished. The too familiar aching in his heart. It takes a few seconds for him to realize he's fallen silent.]

...You didn't mean to.

[She may not have meant to, but it still happened, and she could not stop the lump of guilt forming in her throat. Strange, when was the last time she had cried enough that it would put a strain on her old scars there?]

I'm still so sorry...

You're here with me now, and that's enough. [He really can't ask anything more of her. Unless she could somehow bring Martel back, which he knows isn't possible... With his other hand, he tentatively reaches for hers.]

[When she feels the warmth of his hand near hers she reaches out for it, holding onto him with a surprisingly gentle force for how emotional she currently was. Had she... said something similar to Mithos before? It felt like it, to her.

Or maybe it's because she'd felt the same way for so long by now; all that time apart had only served to strengthen the affection she has for him.]

Thank you...

[He doesn't know what else to say just yet, but sometimes words aren't necessary. Squeezing her hand lightly -- I'm here. A weight is slowly lifting from his shoulders, or perhaps it's from his heart. He...thinks he could stay like this for a while.]

[Hopefully Mithos doesn't mind too much, just sitting still in silence for far too long. But silence is what she needs for now, as she begins to calm down enough and the tears drying up quickly. she just has to wait for that lump in her throat to go away so she can finally speak properly.]

[He doesn't mind at all. It doesn't undo all the hurt -- there's no way it could -- but it's enough, just to have her beside him. He still marvels at how she has this effect on him. Slowly, moment by moment, he's realizing just how much he missed her while she was gone, and it's...weirdly dizzying.]

[Several more minutes of silence pass when she finally decides she's ready to speak. While she didn't want to interrupt this moment just yet, Kaori knew it would have to be done eventually.]

I'm... I'm still glad you're here... that I have you, Mithos.

[Even though Martel is gone, he's...not all alone; he has to keep reminding himself of that. There's still someone who cares about him...]

I'm glad too. I don't know what I would do if you also left... [if you never came back, like he was beginning to fear. There's something he's been wondering for a little while too.]

You...

[Kaori turns her face upward toward Mithos', able to tell that there was something more he wanted to say? Or maybe she was assuming things... it wouldn't hurt to ask, would it?]

What is it...?

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