✿ mallynap [Action/Accidental Voice]

[seiriald]

[All she had expected when she decided to come inside after yet another long day of gardening was to clean up and go straight to bed, especially after the wind had done much to hamper her progress with the small seedlings that were shooting up from the ground. While it had been bordering on nuisance, she had been otherwise cheered up to notice that the several more of the hardier plants had already started blooming.

But all happiness that had come with it was washed away while in the process of walking toward the door she finds herself picking up on a series of familiar noises behind her, ones she had never wanted to hear again and that she knew for a fact did not belong to anyone inside the safe household just beyond her reach. There's an unintentional, startled cry as she drops her coat and her journal to falls open in order for her reflexes to kick into gear to resist the droids, desperate to avoid capture while she silently hoped that someone inside would notice but not at the same time.

But her erratic behavior and moves made it that much easier to knock her out and take her away, so anyone who happened to hear her cry for help will find no trace of her anywhere outside the house other than her dropped possessions, tossed amidst several plants that had been trampled in the process.]

Comments

[imatreenow]

[He glares fiercely down at the dirt, fingers twitching into fists, and of course his rattled mind warps Frey's words again.]

Do you think you're the only one who's worried? [And what a gross understatement that is...]

[falenandawn]

Of course not.... but I believe you misunderstand. I am worried for both Kaori and you.

[imatreenow]

[After a surprised pause, he'll actually turn to look over his shoulder. His lack of understanding is etched clearly into his face.] Why are you worried for me? [Not 'because of' him, but for him...?]

[falenandawn]

[Mithos might be irritating him today, but it was difficult to hold that irritation for long, when the blond boy was so obviously out of sorts.] ...I told you. I do not need a reason.

[Their conversation from a few weeks ago comes to mind.] Whether you wish for it or not.

You are probably just as upset as I am, you looked exhausted, and your leg is still giving you difficulty, is it not? Yet you dragged yourself here. Admirable, yes, but it is easy to tell you are not managing as well as you could.

1/2

[imatreenow]

[...He doesn't even know what to say to that. The cutting response isn't piecing together in his mouth. The steel wall of harsh words isn't rushing to his defense. Frey's sympathy - far more kindness than he knows how to deal with from outside his small tight circle - just sits out in the open, unchallenged. He isn't in the mood to deal with anything that will fill his already brimming brain with such thick uncertainty. He can only glare silently for a few moments, eyes frantic.]

[imatreenow]

[Then he looks away again, at nothing in particular. His words are terse with frustration.] ...I don't understand.

[falenandawn]

.....I guess you wouldn't. [There's no harshness in his words, though, to indicate any jab at his abilities to comprehend.

'I don't understand.' - 'You're weird.'.... Kaori had said as much to him, before, questioned why he cared. His gaze is thoughtful and a little sad as he stands, walking over to where he had left a watering can overnight to pick it up.

He should honestly not care as much as he does, but even since December it had been more difficult to maintain that state. Seeing that innocent enthusiasm of Mithos' younger self had shaken his resolve to be firm in the matter. Yet he still didn't know what Mithos was capable of.... There was far too much he didn't know.] Hate is a hard thing to maintain, formed from pain, anger and reasons... Caring is simpler, I suppose.

[imatreenow]

[He's silent as he furiously searches for the loopholes, but Frey's words and his actions line up. It doesn't make sense... It doesn't line up with reality, and he refuses to accept it.] ...You don't mean any of it.

[That's the only defense he really has. It's too good to be real. His eyes shift down to the soil.] It's too easy to hate. [Stopping is the difficult part...but even he can un-learn it. Being here has shown that to him.]

[falenandawn]

I do. Perhaps it is different for everyone... I could not say. I am but one person. I know some use hate as a motivator…. I know I did, once. But I eventually grew tired of it.

[Hating people changed nothing, in the end. He could hate a person's actions, and he could hate a person for choosing to live with ignorance.... but....

The only way he could change those things he had hated most was to move past them, to change it with his own hand.

And....]

You say people in your world hate those that are not human…. Do you not get tired? Of hating people for their ignorance?

[imatreenow]

...Of course I do. But I grew far more tired of their ignorance.

[His back remains turned to Frey. He cups a handful of the dirt and lets it slowly sift though his fingers to return to the earth, watching as it falls.] There was a time when I could stand up underneath the intolerance thrown down on me. No matter what happened, I could keep standing, because of the support from my sister and our companions. I believed change could take root.

[Then Martel had been killed. The words don't need to be spoken. They are palpable in the morning air.] ...The world knocked me down one time too many. Some crimes cannot be forgiven. Even...if I wanted to.

[But that exclusionary 'if' isn't as hard and definite as it should be. The thought has crossed his mind more than once through his long, winding existence, that he would be happier if he could let go.]